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Please put more jokes here

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    Mrs V: It’s not working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.


    Vetran: I understand. And for the main course?
    {emotionless greeting}

    Three Word Slogan

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      Putin explains to Chinese President Xi that he’s fighting a proxy war against NATO.​
      "How is it going" asks Xi
      "So far, we’ve lost a flagship, 20,000 troops, 8 generals, 500 tanks and 100 planes”, says Putin
      "What about NATO?” asks Xi.​
      "They haven’t turned up yet.
      Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

      Comment


        However the Russians have established air superiority by now.


        Their Flying Tank Turrets are a hit.
        Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

        Comment


          My boss told me that as a security guard it's my job to watch the office.

          I'm not sure what it's it got to do with security, but I'm on season six.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Originally posted by WTFH View Post
            Mrs V: It’s not working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.


            Vetran: I understand. And for the main course?
            Well she didn't marry me for my looks, it must be my huge penis.

            Yours on the other hand married you because you are a huge penis?
            Last edited by vetran; 15 May 2022, 12:14.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Cryptosporidium - An illness that makes people tulip themselves when their Bitcoin has gone into free fall
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I just invented a new food called 'something'.

                People are always saying you should eat something. I'm a genius.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Me: Howard.

                  Her: How do you know His name's Howard?

                  Me: Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name...
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    one for WTFH

                    I joined my local group of Onanists Anonymous, at the first session the facilitator asked "Has anyone accompanied you tonight?"

                    I said "No, I come alone!"
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Amber Heard arrived at court yesterday three hours too soon.

                      The security guard said "your're early, tulip the bed?"
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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