Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

Dennis Law was asked if he thought his old team could beat the current Manchester United team.
His reply was, "Yes".
Asked what the score would be he said, "One nil".
When asked why it would only be one nil he replied, "Most of us are in our eighties "

[vetran]

I've just set up a cheap, backstreet, gender reassignment clinic if anyone is interested in a bargain?

It's a bloody rip off though

[vetran]

I went to an AA meeting the other day.


They couldn't do anything about my blown head gasket, but I got some handy tips for my alcohol addiction

[vetran]

My wife said, "Would you like to try a bit of role reversal in bed tonight?"

"No chance," I replied, "I've got a headache."

[vetran]

Dennis Waterman?s funeral is to be held at 12pm in a child?s soft play centre with his family in attendance.

Right people, right time, just the wrong location.

[vetran]

I got fired from my factory job packing alarm clocks. At the Job Centre, I was asked, "What kind of things did you work with?"

I replied, "Ticking boxes."


I start work in the BBC Drama department on Monday.

[vetran]

I've recently started using Zimmer frames - now that?s a product I can get behind.

[vetran]

When chatting girls up, don't tell them your hobby is stamp-collecting.

Philately will get you nowhere.

[vetran]

Blackpool, Morecambe, Margate, Bournemouth etc.

All these seaside towns felt they needed to build a large structure jutting out into the sea.

Just shows what pier pressure can do.

[vetran]

My inflatable house got a puncture last night.



Now I'm living in a flat.