Reply to: Please put more jokes here

[sadkingbilly]

I'm busy following a recipe and it says "chill in the fridge for an hour."
I've got a book, some snacks and a pint but it's very cramped in here.

[sadkingbilly]

A man, identifying as a woman, followed a teenaged girl into the toilet.
her father, identifying as the tooth fairy, followed him and left him with no teeth.

[WTFH]

OK, plan B is finally coming to fruition, I can officially announce that I'm setting up my own ballet company.
We're starting off small, and our fist production is going to be a low budget version of Swan Lake. We're calling it Toilet Duck.

[sadkingbilly]

[WTFH]

When ducks fly in a V formation, I always wondered why one side of the V was longer than the other.


It turns out it's because that side has more ducks.

[WTFH]

My mate just got a new contract, £1200 a day outside IR35. The role is to remove the white stringy bits from oranges.

I think he's taking the pith.

[WTFH]

I’ve started investing in stocks — beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

[xoggoth]

^ Gordoneo Bennuto, you must have some memory to remember a joke posted 5 years ago.

[WTFH]

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O."

KUATB!

[sadkingbilly]

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O."

[WTFH]

My New Year’s resolution was to give up doing stunts from cowboy movies, but I’ve already fallen off the wagon.

[sadkingbilly]

A book just fell on my head.

I have only my shelf to blame.

[WTFH]

I decided to quit coffee and switch to orange juice.
I’m actually feeling a lot happier during the day.
My doctor thinks it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars but I think it’s the rum. Either way it’s working.

[sadkingbilly]

[WTFH]

I keep having the same dream where I'm a horse.

I've had it five nights on the trot.