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Please put more jokes here

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    #9551
    Up and down the country 96 gun salutes to commemorate the Queen, gun shots also heard in Liverpool but that was just a standard Friday.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment

      #9552
      Sports bosses: The Queen's dead, let's stop everyone working to show respect!.

      Rail and Postal Union bosses: The Queen's dead, let's stop everyone going on strike, to show respect!.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment

        #9553
        "That Sherlock actor stole my National Insurance card!"

        "Benefit number snatch?"

        "Yes, that’s him!"
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

        Comment

          #9554
          Astrology FACT: Due to people deliberately mispronouncing it’s name, NASA is planning to officially rename Uranus in 2023 after the Norse god of the sky, Upyåbumbum.
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

          Comment

            #9555
            So we?re now going to be given all new coins with Prince Charles on. I?m not amused, I hate change.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment

              #9556
              Even though I live at number 6, I paint no 34 on my bin so the binmen leave it near my house.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment

                #9557
                How many folk in that queue will be disappointed when they realise it doesn't end in an Apple store
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                  #9558
                  Bloody Magistrates.... just given me 6 months in Centre Parcs
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment

                    #9559
                    Name a capital city which starts with a Q, has a Q in the middle and ends with a Q?

                    London for the next 4 days.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment

                      #9560
                      I'm skipping breakfast and dinner for the Queen's funeral on Monday.

                      McDonald's and Greggs will be closed.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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