Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

"All we do is argue," said the current Mrs BP. "We need to work on our marriage, so let's try to speak the same language from now on, OK?"

"Moooooooo" replied BP.

[WTFH]

I almost got out of a speeding ticket yesterday by telling the policewoman that she looked gorgeous.

I think I messed it up by adding "and that's not just the drink talking."

[WTFH]

If you want to know how big MF is, he was queuing at the bank yesterday when he received a text message and 4 people behind him thought he was reversing.

[WTFH]

Adam and Eve: The first people not to read the Apple terms and conditions

[shaunbhoy]

Dad’s advice some years ago;
“If you get into a fight in the pub, put a snooker ball in your sock.”
Worst advice ever, I could hardly walk!

[shaunbhoy]

In Wales they don’t make wine by stomping grapes. They make wine by stomping cheese. But you have to tread Caerphilly.

[shaunbhoy]

Get the binmen to leave your wheelie bin outside your house by putting the house number from 3 doors away on it.

[shaunbhoy]

I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub earlier.
He seemed like a decent feller.

[shaunbhoy]

My boss just announced he’s going to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I’ve a hunch it could be me.

[shaunbhoy]

I discovered that I have an amazing talent today.
I found I can melt ice cubes just by staring at them, it takes a few hours though.