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Please put more jokes here

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    You gotta love the great British public.
    UK Government: we have introduced a temporary furlough scheme to support jobs during the pandemic.

    **Furlough ends**

    British Public: You can’t end furlough, we need it!

    UK Government: We are giving universal credit claimants a temporary £20 a week uplift; this is when it will end on 06/10/2021.

    **Credit uplift ends**

    British Public: You heartless Tory Bastards!

    UK Government: There is no fuel shortage
    British Public: I better go fill up my car and 5 jerry cans!

    Comment


      Just tried installing the latest version of "The Road Haulage Association" game on my pc.

      But it keeps saying it can't find any drivers

      Comment


        I say, I say, I say, my dog's got no nose!.

        How does he smell?.

        He can't, he's got long covid.

        Comment


          My dog has started chasing after people on a bike.

          I don't know where he got it from or how he learnt to ride it.

          Comment


            I stole my mates colostomy bag once for a joke.

            He didn’t see the funny side.

            He started loosing his tulip.

            Comment


              The funeral of Status Quo bassist Alan Lancaster will be a pretty somber affair.

              Although the wake will be brilliant,, they're having twelve bars.

              Comment


                There's a poster outside my local Asda that says, 'UK Baby Retailer of the Year'.

                They never seem to have any out on the shelves.

                Comment


                  Buy Kellogg’s Corn Flakes and get a free cut-out HGV Licence
                  T&Cs Apply
                  Valid for the UK only
                  Must be have moped delivery experience.

                  "A people that elect corrupt politicians, imposters, thieves and traitors are not victims, but accomplices," George Orwell

                  Comment


                    I said to the barman, 'My wife was killed by a spider.'

                    He said, 'Bloody hell, that's unusual! What kind was it, tarantula or Black Widow?'

                    I replied, 'Nah, Alfa Romeo.'

                    Comment


                      Were you in the Gulf wars, grandad?.

                      No. But I was in the Shell scrap during the tanker driver shortage.

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