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Please put more jokes here

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    "I don't believe in God and all that rubbish. I'm a realistic girl and I need evidence before I believe in crap like that...

    I'm a typical virgo".
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      I first met my wife when she came into the welding workshop that I worked in.


      There were sparks between us
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        I just fell over in the library. It was in the non friction section
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          A Belgian farmer has accidentally moved part of the French border!


          France are tulipting themselves and say they dont want any trouble
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            Wise old Chinese man say man who walk through doorway sideways with erection always going to Bangkok
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              A man in his 60s has been hit by a car on a main road in Hyde.

              What sort of a idiot goes bird watching in the middle of the road?
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                Paddy said "Vaseline plays a very important role in my sexual relationship with my wife."
                Mick said " That's interesting Paddy but I thought you had a little dick."
                Paddy replied " I have, but I smear the vaseline on the bedroom door handle so the misses can't get out!"
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  I was showing my mate my new golf ball.
                  "It's impossible to lose," I said. "If you hit it into the rough it sends out a GPS signal so you can track it down."
                  "That's great," he replied, "but what happens if you it hit into the water?"
                  "Simple. The ball floats to the surface and tracks its way back toward you and you just scoop it back out."
                  "Brilliant!" he said, "Where did you get it?"
                  "I found it."
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    I went to visit my wife in hospital and took her flowers.

                    My girlfriend will love them.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      A Polish man walks into Specsavers for an eye test. The optician shows him the test card, and on it says:

                      "C Z W J X N Y S A C Z"
                      The optician then asks him "Can you read that?"

                      The Polish man says "Read it? I know the chap"!
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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