Ladies-If a chap remembers your eye colour after your first date, there's a very big chance you have small tits....
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Henry VIII had many wives.
He liked to chop and change.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I’d say me and my wife have sex roughly once a week... and gently 3 or 4 times…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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Jay-Z will always live in the shadow of his brother A, author of the best-selling ‘London’.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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I walked passed the YMCA yesterday, and there was a teenage boy sat outside stroking some feathers...
I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down...”…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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Why are the Pyramids in Egypt?
Because they're too heavy to carry to a British museum.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Since it's Billy Connolly's birthday, here's one of his:
“A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said how can you tell them apart, he said ‘her brother’s got a moustache!’”…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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-I see there's gap on your CV - four years? What were you doing?
-I was in Yale
-Really? Very impressive, you're hired
-Great, I really need a Yob.Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
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With their price rises, this winter the power companies will be screwing more old ladies than Wayne Rooney.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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When I was a baby, my parents used to bath me in cheap Australian lager.
It wasn't until I was 18 that I realised I'd been Fostered.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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