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Please put more jokes here

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    Ladies-If a chap remembers your eye colour after your first date, there's a very big chance you have small tits....
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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      Henry VIII had many wives.

      He liked to chop and change.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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        I’d say me and my wife have sex roughly once a week... and gently 3 or 4 times
        …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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          Jay-Z will always live in the shadow of his brother A, author of the best-selling ‘London’.
          …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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            I walked passed the YMCA yesterday, and there was a teenage boy sat outside stroking some feathers...



            I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down...”
            …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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              Why are the Pyramids in Egypt?

              Because they're too heavy to carry to a British museum.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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                Since it's Billy Connolly's birthday, here's one of his:
                “A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said how can you tell them apart, he said ‘her brother’s got a moustache!’”
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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                  -I see there's gap on your CV - four years? What were you doing?
                  -I was in Yale
                  -Really? Very impressive, you're hired
                  -Great, I really need a Yob.
                  Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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                    With their price rises, this winter the power companies will be screwing more old ladies than Wayne Rooney.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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                      When I was a baby, my parents used to bath me in cheap Australian lager.

                      It wasn't until I was 18 that I realised I'd been Fostered.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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