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Please put more jokes here

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    I've made a film about guys that struggle to ejaculate.

    Coming next spring.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I've just seen the specs for the new iPhone 6 and there's one glaringly obvious reason why I have to have it on the first day of release:


      ....it's because I'm a pretentious cock!
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        A study shows that men with large penises are more confident ...

        While women with large penises win more Wimbledon finals.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          KP again?

          I'd choose to have sex with my Henry Hoover over women any time.

          No attachments.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            "Any chance of some head?", I asked the barmaid.

            "No **** off!", she frothed."what's wrong with you do you have issues or something?!"

            "As a matter of fact I do", I replied. "Either your pumps are dodgy or the beers flat".
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              So I paid to have sex with a donkey last night. I feel absolutely disgusted now. Just after I finished I realised it was a male. Turned out to be He-Whore.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                and for Suity

                I went to see my doctor. "I'm a bedwetter, Doc," I told him, sheepishly.

                "Nothing to be ashamed of," he reassured me. "A lot of people can't control their bladder when they're asleep."

                "I didn't realise you had to be asleep ..." I muttered.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  What's worse than having a girlfriend with no tits?

                  Having no girlfriend and tits.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Thank **** for that: Cliff Richard a suspected paedo. Now we won't have to listen to his tulipe every Christmas.

                    Anybody been touched up by Noddy Holder?
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      A man goes to the Doctors and says, "Every time I masturbate, I shout C'mon Man United!" The Doctor replied, "Most do"
                      Join IPSE

                      Comment

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