E.Coli bacteria has a fatality rate in humans of 8%. So, not only is Covid not as lethal as the Spanish flu, you've more chance of being killed by a Spanish Omelette.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from meComment
-
-
Comment
-
-
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*Comment
-
NLyUK goes to the cleaners.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners
The lady says, "Come Again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."Comment
-
Redhead: "You ever smelled moth balls?"
Blonde: "Yes, I think they smell good."
Redhead: "Wow, I can't believe you got your nose between those tiny legs."Comment
-
for WTFH
A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?'' The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!'' The man thinks for a moment and says, ''If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?'' The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ''Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess exactly how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"Comment
-
Q: Why were there 17 blondes standing outside the pub?
A: Because the sign said you have to be 18 to enter.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Why might an umbrella company fail to pay its total tax bill to HMRC? Aug 18 06:08
- Contractors, here are the late payment fixes that the Lords just turned down Aug 17 08:03
- How will HMRC's Direct Debit plan affect contractors paying VAT and PAYE? Aug 13 23:54
- HMRC's new 'reckless' tax offence: an IR35 game-changer for contractors? Aug 13 13:50
- “I’m not a Machiavellian overlord”: Adrian Sacco breaks his silence on the Contractor Loan Recalls Aug 13 06:50
- ‘Bounce back’ in IT contractor demand in July 2026, even if ‘one swallow doesn’t make a summer’ Aug 12 07:50
- Are fractional and interim CTO roles ripe for IT contractors? Aug 11 07:33
- Where is UK IT contractor demand heading before 2027? Aug 10 05:53
- Where is UK IT contractor demand heading before 2027? Aug 9 21:53
- Umbrella, PEO/GPP, or salaried EOR. Which is up 153% in 2026? Aug 6 08:43

Comment