Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I went to the Cinema the other day. The man sat in front of me had his dog with him. The dog seemed to be really engrossed in the film. He was laughing and smiling throughout the movie. When the film ended I said to the owner "This might sound wired but your really seemed to enjoy that."

"Yes I was surprised too, He hated the book".

[vetran]

'...It was 7-years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room with tears streaming down his face shouting “It’s a boy, it’s a boy.” We never did go back to Pattaya, Thailand for a holiday.'

[vetran]

I got everything I needed for Halloween and Christmas in the one shop.

Beer.

[vetran]

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you piss off the French.

[vetran]

It always makes me feel Christmasy when you go to the supermarket and see the easter eggs on the shelves.

[vetran]

Can't believe Mumsnet haven't sued the creators of Angry Birds for copyright infringement.

[WTFH]

I’ve applied for a job at MI6. They’ve asked for my resume with an undercover letter

[vetran]

10 years ago a bloke came up to me in the pub. He told me to invest in beef, chicken and vegetable stocks.

I wish i'd listened to him. He's a bouillonaire now.

[vetran]

I got pulled over by the police last night. "I have reason to believe you've been kerb crawling Sir," he said.

"I've followed you along this road at twenty miles an hour and you've stopped five times."

"Just get off my bus, you idiot," I told him.

[NotAllThere]

I once cut myself on a barbed complement slip.