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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    Breaking news: EVERYONE at John Lennon Airport have just been placed into quarantine.
    Imagine! All the people.
    Sounds like Milton Jones that one.
    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

    Comment


      Boris and bake off are on tv at the same time tonight so no matter which channel you watch you’ll see an Eton Mess
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.
        "Can I ask you something?" I said.






        "Certainly," he replied.






        I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I've been banned from our local petrol station for playing ‘The Who’ too loudly on my car stereo...


          I won't get fuelled again.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            News:Bomb found in Birmingham travelodge.

            Probably done by Ibis.
            Last edited by vetran; 22 September 2020, 13:57.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              NAT tod me this story!

              I was at a bar the other day and I saw a hen party wearing T-shirts printed with the words Penis Police. I asked them what it meant.


              They said that if I had an average-sized penis, I would be charged with a misdemeanour. If I had a large penis, I would be charged with a felony.


              Anyway, long story short, they gave me a parking ticket.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                The neighbours knocked on the front door.
                "We're going out tonight," they told me. "We need a babysitter for our two-year-old boy that doesn't smoke or do drugs or gamble."






                "I'm not sure why you're boasting," I replied. "I don't know any two-year-olds that do those things."
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Well, my grandad was on the Western Front and he reckoned it was really noisy.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    The inventor of the sexual innuendo has sadly passed away today.


                    His wife is taking it really hard.
                    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                    Comment


                      for WTFH

                      I hate it when I'm texting and I'm rudely interrupted by a cyclist bouncing off my windscreen
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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