Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

A shoplifting gang is stealing clothes in size order...the police believe they're still at large.

[WTFH]

I've found out that Waitrose will print anything on a cake so that's the only way I'm sending out CVs from now on

[ladymuck]

I've found out that Waitrose will print anything on a cake so that's the only way I'm sending out CVs from now on

Is this in the right thread? Maybe you should cross post to State of the Market...

[vetran]

I’m a Greggs lorry driver, but I only do Hull, Grimsby & Scunthorpe.
My maths teacher told me to take pie to three dismal places.

[vetran]

Word definitions


Analogy


The study of arseholes


Just realised we’re all qualified !

[vetran]

OK, we all know Bojo's new rules for the UK but the BBC are really taking the piss now. The feature film on Monday night has been changed to "The Magnificent SEVEN". Bastards.

[vetran]

My mate can play Dancing Queen on a Didgeeridoo.
Its Abba original

[vetran]

After criticising Black Lives Matter, my local priest has been forced to take a racial sensitivity course, sitting there, listening to some pompous arse talk condescending nonsense.


Let's see how he likes it.

[vetran]

I asked the librarian when the book about Boris managing the pandemic would be available,


"I haven't a clue, " he replied,


"Yeah, that's the one. " I answered.

[vetran]

My mate was trying to tell me about the time machine he'd invented.
I wasn't interested.
It just went in one era and out the other.