• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Socking to hear that despite of the recent fiasco of DHL failing to deliver KFC products that they have now gone and won the Cadburys contract, great timing just before Easter!

    Problem is, what do they deliver first.. The chicken or the egg!
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      What type of bees can you get milk from.....
      ......boo bees
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        Just found out the Mint in the USA where they create small coins has stopped producing them completely. Can you believe that?!

        It makes no cents.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I nearly got sacked on my first day being a roofer when my boss caught me wanking.
          Luckily he said I could wipe the slate clean.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            Drove past a field the other day and saw a scarecrow trying to have a wank...... i thought now that prat is clutching at straws.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Rushed out of bed and jumped on the tube this morning.

              ******* toothpaste everywhere.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                DHL have done more for child obesity than Jamie Oliver has done in 10 years.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  A paper bag goes to the doctor and says, 'I've had this cough for a few weeks and feel a bit ill'. The doctor does a few tests, asks a few questions then says, 'I'm afraid you are HIV positive'. The bag says, 'How the **** can I have AIDS? I'm a white paper bag!'
                  The doctor replies, 'Yes, but your mother was a carrier'.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    For our curvier friends

                    What is a fat kids favourite musical instrument?

                    The dinner bell...
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I booked a table at a restaurant last night.
                      Then people started shouting, “Ref you twunt, you're fecking blind!”
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X