Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Like Demi Lovato my preferred pronouns are also they/them. Not because I am non-binary but because I choose to identify as multiple people.

[vetran]

I just saw katie price coming out of the fishmonger with a whole trolley full of salmon, haddock and kippers. Then she walked around the park collecting up dog tulip.

I think she is copying Gwyneth Paltrow's idea, and making some candles that smell like her vagina

[vetran]

Bilbo was surprised to wake one morning, and find that a Tesco had been built right next to his house.
It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area.

[vetran]

That pie smells so good I jizzed in my pants...

I guess you could say I came to my senses.

[vetran]

Me: “Excuse me, are these ‘genetically modified’ carrots?”
Grocer: “No, why do you ask?”
Carrot: “Yeah, why do you ask?”

[vetran]

What has McDonalds and a red light got in common?

My wife always drives through them.

[vetran]

My boss pointed out today that I only seem to get sick monday to Friday.
I told him it must be something to do with my Weekend immune system.

[vetran]

You're either non-binary or you're not.

[ladymuck]

What has McDonalds and a red light got in common?

Cyclists always drive through them.

FTFY

[NotAllThere]

Soldier Potato Head was distinctily worried about being transferred to a MASH unit.