Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Tonight I dreamt of walking on a sandy beach. I guess that explains the footprints in my cat's litter box.

[vetran]

Q:why cant orphans play baseball
A:they dont know where home is

[vetran]

I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me.

[vetran]

Grab your taco, you’ve pulled a dyslexic Mexican.

[vetran]

My wife asked me, “What did you buy me for valentines day?”
“Well,” I chuckled. “You see that pink Mercedes over there?”
“Yes,” she said happily.
“Well I bought you a toothbrush the same colour.”

[vetran]

Wife’s really angry tonight complaining I never buy her flowers!


Didn’t even realise she sold flowers.

[vetran]

Decided that I am going to buy my girlfriend flowers every day in February. The girl who works in the florists is really hot.

[vetran]

My dog minton has eaten all the shuttlecocks.


Badminton

[vetran]

Q: What did Jay-Z call Beyonce when they got engaged
A: Fiance

[vetran]

XMAS - I love this time of year.


You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and you don’t get any disgusted looks.