Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I've just seen George Bush's art gallery and, to be honest, I think his portrait of Tony Blair is pretty good.

The lies follow you around the room.

[vetran]

As my flatmate Paddy headed towards the front door this morning, I said to him, "Where the **** are you going dressed like that?"

"To Dave's fancy dress party," he replied. "I'm a tortoise."

I said, "His party is not until tomorrow night!"

He said, "I know, but I'm a tortoise."

[vetran]

So Peaches Geldof had 'importation quality' heroin in her home.

When I told Bob Geldof his daughter needed a good smack, I don't think he understood.

[Alias]

I don't want to say its hot in my room, but two hobbits just came around and threw a ring in it...

[vetran]

for NLYUK

I love sex with Deer,

I'll do anything for a few bucks.

[vetran]

I hosted a superhero themed orgy for midgets last night.

Still a little Thor downstairs.

[vetran]

A lion, a witch and a wardrobe go into a bar.

The barman says, "I'm serving Narnia."

[vetran]

Normal service is resumed

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside

[vetran]

How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two.
One to get a man to change it, and the other to criticize men for inventing it.

[vetran]

Frank Maloney has gone from boxers to knickers.