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Please put more jokes here

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    I've just seen George Bush's art gallery and, to be honest, I think his portrait of Tony Blair is pretty good.

    The lies follow you around the room.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      As my flatmate Paddy headed towards the front door this morning, I said to him, "Where the **** are you going dressed like that?"

      "To Dave's fancy dress party," he replied. "I'm a tortoise."

      I said, "His party is not until tomorrow night!"

      He said, "I know, but I'm a tortoise."
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        So Peaches Geldof had 'importation quality' heroin in her home.

        When I told Bob Geldof his daughter needed a good smack, I don't think he understood.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I don't want to say its hot in my room, but two hobbits just came around and threw a ring in it...
          Join IPSE

          Comment


            for NLYUK

            I love sex with Deer,

            I'll do anything for a few bucks.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I hosted a superhero themed orgy for midgets last night.

              Still a little Thor downstairs.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                A lion, a witch and a wardrobe go into a bar.

                The barman says, "I'm serving Narnia."
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Normal service is resumed

                  A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
                  For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
                  However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

                    Two.
                    One to get a man to change it, and the other to criticize men for inventing it.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Frank Maloney has gone from boxers to knickers.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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