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Please put more jokes here

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    '...A Lawyer representing a wealthy art dealer called him and said,
    "Saul, I have some good and some bad news for you."

    The art dealer replied,
    "I've had a terrible day. Give me the good news first."

    "Well", says the Lawyer. "I met with your wife yesterday and she told me she had purchased two pictures for £5,000, but she thinks they might be worth £5-10 MILLION!'

    "Fantastic woman, my wife, and a very smart businesswoman too" says the art dealer.

    "What's the bad news?"

    The Lawyer replied,

    "The pictures are of you banging your secretary."
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      COP: Where were you the night of the murder?

      CROW: I was with a group of friends

      COP: What would you call that group?

      CROW: …I want a lawyer
      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

      Comment


        Wales vs Iran?!

        Blimey, I wouldn't fancy being a sheep going to that one.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          It must be awesome being the CEO of an energy company.

          The money's great, and every winter you bump off more pensioners than Harold Shipman and don't even get in trouble.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            A really old bloke in the pub was telling me his war stories, about how he survived a mustard gas attack and got pepper sprayed as a method of torture from the bad guys.

            "So you're a seasoned veteran then?" I asked.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              BBC: UK net migration hits all-time record at 504,000.

              As if we didn't have enough trouble! Now we are being invaded by nets!
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                One man's rubbish is another man's treasure.

                Not the best way to find out from your dad that you're adopted.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by vetran View Post
                  BBC: UK net migration hits all-time record at 504,000.

                  As if we didn't have enough trouble! Now we are being invaded by nets!
                  If you think that's bad, wait until you hear about the figure just of those arriving - it's gross!
                  …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                  Comment


                    My gran needs eye surgery after watching the world cup...

                    She has Qataracts.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Do you know what floats my boat?



                      A high tide.
                      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                      Comment

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