Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

The rooster teaches us it is perfectly natural to start your day with a couple of screams.

[NotAllThere]

My friends were all eating fruits from a pyrus tree, and they all kept telling me to try some too!

But I don't give in to pear pressure

I had a similar issue in the House of Lords. Judgmental bastards.

[vetran]

The bottle of vodka said, "Drink responsibly."

So I drank it while completing my tax return.

[vetran]

I think shredded cheese should be banned in England.

Make Britain grate again.

[vetran]

I've just heard the window cleaner shouting and swearing outside my house.

I think he's lost his rag.

[vetran]

Apparently, in their relationship, Amber Heard was the only one who gave a tulip,

[vetran]

What does a Jedi Master have for breakfast in Italy?

Only one cannoli.

[vetran]

I'm going to eat different types of bread all week.


Roll on Friday.

[vetran]

My dyslexic mate has just joined tinder!


He hasn't found any dates yet, only chocolate eggs with little toys inside

[vetran]

The council refused us permission to close our road for a Jubilee street party. So lateral thinking was required.

We're paying druggies to glue themselves to the road, pretending to be Extinction Rebellion, until we finish.