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    Every time I see my fat mate I always take the piss and ask him why he hasn't started jogging yet.

    It's a running joke.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      News: William Shatner, 90, becomes oldest person in space.

      Upon return, his nappies were filled with Klingons
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        For blokes everywhere

        Can't believe the Government's issued a directive to get your Xmas shopping early because of supply issues..

        For ****s sake, I'll have to do it on December 23rd now..
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          A dyslexic criminal enters a library looking for a shorter sentence.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            What nationality were Adam and Eve?

            Soviet, of course. Who else would well around barefoot and naked, have an apple to share between them, and think they were in Paradise?
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Police pulled over a hazelnut chocolate for doing 130 on the m1.

              It was a Ferrari Rocher
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                The Wombles were planning a trip to the Olympic park in Stratford.
                "We can go on the District line or the Overground".
                "How much will the train cost?".
                "It won't cost anything".
                "Why?"
                "Underground, Overground Wombles are free".
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  I keep eating my feather pillow in my sleep. It’s really starting to depress me.

                  Down in the dumps?

                  I don’t know, I haven’t been yet.
                  …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                    I keep eating my feather pillow in my sleep. It’s really starting to depress me.

                    Down in the dumps?

                    I don’t know, I haven’t been yet.
                    That's a tulip joke.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I saw an ex-Coronation Street actor and a jockey on the set of a children's TV show in Scotland.

                      Watts, Detori, in Balamory, wouldn't you like to know?
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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