Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

the saying " treat them mean and keep them keen ", is a load of nonsense,

I locked the missus in the garage for a fortnight with no food or water and the selfish cow now wont come and visit me in prison..

[vetran]

Meanwhile, it's been revealed today, that the latest research shows more money is now spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.

Thus by 2040, the elderly will all have perky tits & stiff cocks, but absolutely no idea why.

[vetran]

The wife and i were having one of the biggest rows we ever had on a camping trip when at about 1 AM a bear unbelievably was outside our tent and pawed at the flap.

My wife suddenly said, "You coward, aren't you going to try and fight it off !"

"No, I might let it in to trade places with you; somehow I think it will be more pleasant."

[vetran]

The Government outlines the Road to Freedom...

... Or is it just the Road to De-Mask Us?

[vetran]

Spot the difference between Jeremy Clarkson and Duke Ellington.


One likes Caravan's and the other one doesn't.

[rik sherman]

Genie: I’ll give you one billion dollars if you can spend 100M in a month. There are 3 rules: No gifting, no gambling, no throwing it away.
SRE: Can I use AWS?
Genie: There are 4 rules

[vetran]

Rescuers battle Tropical Storm Elsa in Florida to find 117 people still missing in the Surfside condo collapse.

Can't you take a hint? God wants them dead.

[vetran]

A man in Austria was bitten by a python while sitting on his toilet.

Serves him right for sitting on a snake's toilet.

[vetran]

At first I was impressed when I met an old school friend and he said he'd gone on to develop a highly dangerous career in the oil and gas sector.


I was less impressed however when I found out he was the night kiosk attendant at the Esso garage in Brixton.

[NotAllThere]

Loki is misnamed. He should of course be called Lokus.
One Lokus. Many Loki.