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Please put more jokes here

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    The new royal baby has been named Jamie Hewitt Mountbatten-Windsor in honour of her grandfather.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      Earlier this week I climbed Mount Everest in 48 hours.


      I got back home and have spent 72 hours undoing the top of the Listerene Mouthwash bottle....
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay?

        One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          My dad always turns his head slightly away from the printer when he's using it

          Apparently he can only see it in his peripheral vision.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            The Head Chef always goes off on one when my batter isn't light enough.

            He has a proper tempura tantrum.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I can't wait until the year 8008 so we can all write BOOB without getting into trouble.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I was trying to put a new bag in my bin but it just kept saying "no, no, no" it was a refuse sack.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Dave: "My Dad says You're spying on us...!"

                  Zuckerberg: "He's not your dad"
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    Today I watched a documentary about crustaceans and I saw a crab take another crab's food...

                    ...crabs can be so shellfish right?
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      The Russian army orders 100K rubbers from a US company, specifying 12" fit needed.

                      The US firm fills the order with packaging marked "MEDIUM."
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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