Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

The new royal baby has been named Jamie Hewitt Mountbatten-Windsor in honour of her grandfather.

[vetran]

Earlier this week I climbed Mount Everest in 48 hours.


I got back home and have spent 72 hours undoing the top of the Listerene Mouthwash bottle....

[vetran]

What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay?

One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.

[vetran]

My dad always turns his head slightly away from the printer when he's using it

Apparently he can only see it in his peripheral vision.

[vetran]

The Head Chef always goes off on one when my batter isn't light enough.

He has a proper tempura tantrum.

[vetran]

I can't wait until the year 8008 so we can all write BOOB without getting into trouble.

[vetran]

I was trying to put a new bag in my bin but it just kept saying "no, no, no" it was a refuse sack.

[vetran]

Dave: "My Dad says You're spying on us...!"

Zuckerberg: "He's not your dad"

[vetran]

Today I watched a documentary about crustaceans and I saw a crab take another crab's food...

...crabs can be so shellfish right?

[vetran]

The Russian army orders 100K rubbers from a US company, specifying 12" fit needed.

The US firm fills the order with packaging marked "MEDIUM."