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Please put more jokes here

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    I have an empty school hall for sale.


    Assembly required.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      I was being interviewed by the Police after being stabbed several times, the officer said:


      “Can you remember anything specific about the incident?”


      I said, “yes, while it was happening, all I could hear was Space Oddity.”


      The officer said, “ah, so we’re looking for an assailant using a Bowie knife.”
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        My next door neighbour knocked my door last night, wearing lingerie and stockings and asking to borrow a cup of sugar and if I wanted to come over for a night cap


        I said "Piss off Steve I've got work in the morning".
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          Most of the attractive, single women I meet are divorced.







          From reality.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            That's great news James Hewitt is going to be a grandfather again.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Why are the Chinese no good at Cricket?





              Because they eat all their bats!
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I said, “yes, while it was happening, all I could hear was Space Oddity.”
                Oh, for all these years I wrongly thought it was Space Odyssey.
                bloggoth

                If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                Comment


                  I'm not trying to show off or anything, but I've already got a date for New Year's Eve.









                  It's December 31st
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    for G-Jabs

                    I was talking to a fat bird. She said "A lot of guys find plus-size women attractive, what about you?





                    I said "As a matter of fact yes, lots of guys find me attractive too."
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Bored during lockdown????
                      Call a women’s group and ask to speak to the man in charge.....
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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