Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

The Chav's Lord's Prayer


Our Father, who art in prison, even mum knows not His name, thy chavdom come, you'll read The Sun, in Exmouth which is in Devon, give us this day our welfare bread,and forgive us our ASBOs, as we happy slap those who got ASBOs against us, lead us not into employment, but deliver us free housing, for thine is the chavdom, the burberry and the Bacardi, for ever and ever.


Innit

[vetran]

Lockdown 3 is starting to affect me. I have just re-installed Windows XP, just to remind myself what the outdoors look like. The green grass, the blue sky. Outdoors mmmm

[vetran]

I passed the river the other day and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. He then asked if I liked his net. Then asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish had caught.


Then I twigged. He was fishing for compliments.

[vetran]

Me : Can I borrow the new book about Cockney swearwords?
Librarian : You can't.
Me : Yeah, that's the one.

[vetran]

I always said that if I ever won on the lottery that I would share it with you all on here.


So I'd just like to share that I've won on the lottery

[vetran]

Billy Joel was asked in an interview if he had sampled the lobster from the Seafood Restaurant near his home.
He replied..."I haven't been there for the Langoustine."

[vetran]

Help the BBC with their new nationwide campaign against paedophilia...


....quit paying the Licence Fee.

[vetran]

I was walking out of the hospital when this scruffy looking scrote asked "any change, pal"


No, He's still in intensive care, I replied.

[vetran]

Just bought a load of old railway buffers on eBay for a bargain price. It was an end of line sale.

[vetran]

I think I had a really good time last night.


I'll let you know after I finish reading the police report.