During the Covid crisis, Ryanair have announced a surcharge for people not travelling on their planes,
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
I’ve been swapping labels around on the wife’s spice jars. She may not know anything about it yet but, mark my words — the thyme is cumin.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Aged 10) blow and make a wish = birthday cake
Aged 40) blow and make a wish = BreathalyzerAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A QAnon loyalist dies and goes to heaven. Jesus greets him.
Jesus: Welcome to Heaven! All the knowledge in the universe is now available to you. Before a tour, can I answer any questions?
QAnon: Yes! Who really won the 2020 election between Donald Trump and Joe Biden?
Jesus: Biden won by millions of votes.
QAnon: Wow, the deep state conspiracy is higher up than I'd ever dreamed...Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
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Only 47% of Americans have said they will take a Covid vaccine when it becomes available. Although the Government are sure they will get the figure to near 100% when given with a free Big Mac meal.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Coins from the Tudor era depicting three of Henry VIII's wives have been dug up in a garden in the New Forest region.
Heads you lose...Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Sitting there at Dave Prowse funeral looking at him resting peacefully in his coffin.
I thought to myself “I could make a lot of money here. As I’m sure there are a lot of Star Wars collectors out there that would pay eye watering amounts of cash for an original Darth Vader still in his box”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Wife: “I fancy going somewhere really hot when this Covid thing is over”
Me: Google search - local crematoriumAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Just had the Covid-19 vaccine from Pfizer.
Can someone tell me how long this hard-on is supposed to last.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Victorinox have bought out new range of Swiss Army knives specifically for the London market.They're called the Swissis range. No scissors, files or things like that.Just a range of machetes with shiny red handles.They're also rumoured to be bringing out a Bradford range. Still machetes, but with a number of essential tools to maintain camels, goats and chickens.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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