Please put more jokes here

[xoggoth]

I hate these double standards.


if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "being friendly to the environment" by stopping the cemetery getting bigger, if you burn a body in a brazier in your back garden you’re “destroying evidence”?

I know I have a reputation on CUK for being a bum obsessed old fart but didn't know I was seen as a murderer. Darn it, I've been rumbled!

[vetran]

Just been offered a job as a Noise Pollution Officer...


But I had to turn it down.

[WTFH]

I know I have a reputation on CUK for being a bum obsessed old fart but didn't know I was seen as a murderer. Darn it, I've been rumbled!

Did I post this?

[vetran]

I know I have a reputation on CUK for being a bum obsessed old fart but didn't know I was seen as a murderer. Darn it, I've been rumbled!

Its your rather fine Macabre tales.

[vetran]

Dianne Abbott has been asked to supervise the American election count to sort it out.


She's just declared Russia the winner.

[vetran]

I know Americans are supposed to be stupid but all day I've been seeing them carrying signs saying 'Stop the count'. Thick bastards.


You spell the last word without the O.

[vetran]

It is official , I have been grounded by Boris more times than i ever was by my parents.

[vetran]

The Trump family can no longer enter the White House.


It's forBiden.


too early?

[vetran]

What does democracy and football have in common?


- adding the word “American” completely changes the meaning...

[LondonManc]

How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her she's not allowed to make you a sandwich.