• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I bought The Wife (tm) a Pug dog the other day.

    Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog seems to like her.
    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

    Comment


      What goes clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop bang clip clop clip clop?

      An Amish drive-by shooting.
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

      Comment


        Originally posted by WTFH View Post
        What's the difference between an egg and a

        ...you can beat an egg.

        Speaking of eggs, what's the difference between 3 eggs and me?

        ...3 eggs got laid in my garden today.
        Why you are the chicken.

        Comment


          Thought for the day: If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
          The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

          Comment


            My mate just drowned during a golden shower porn shoot.

            Rest In Piss,Dave.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              We've started calling my grandfather Spiderman; not because he's got special abilities, he just struggles to get out of the bath.
              The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

              Comment


                Where else but Wales can you get a ****, a nice warm coat AND a casserole all from the same date.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  According to my FitBit, I've w*nked 5.3km since Christmas.
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                  Comment


                    "I'd love to hear a musical arrangement of a blackbird's song"
                    "Orchestral?"
                    "No, just a blackbird"
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      I've just received a letter telling me that I 'lack the imagination' required to join origami college…
                      I don't know what to make of it.
                      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X