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Please put more jokes here

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    Pissed off with the mods on this site. Tried to post a Trans joke but it was deleted because it wasn't a joke.

    But it identified as a joke!.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months."

      Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"

      Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend Miss."
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        The World Health Organisation advises people that turning their thermostat down by just 1 degree, reduces fuel bills by 10%. Brilliant.

        I have mine at 30, if I dial down to 18 degrees, British Gas will be paying me!.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          Don't want the neighbours thinking I'm rich...
          'So I turned a few lights off '
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            I judged a trophy making competition the other day and it was awful. some of them were quite good but one guy had taxidermied the back half of a cat and put it on a shield. It was a cat ass trophy.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I just found an awesome new Playstation game.

              It's called Kwazy Karting, and you get to drive the UK economy over a cliff edge!
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                My wife was very disappointed with the CD of classical piano pieces I bought her for her birthday

                "But I'm positive I overheard you telling your sister that you wanted some Chopin" I said

                "You idiot!" she puffed, "I said I wanted a new chip pan!"
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Hey Siri why don't I have any luck with women?



                  I'm Alexa you idiot
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    That's the last time I going to the hospital to give blood, so much bureaucracy and too many questions for just two pints; "Who's blood is it? where did you get? etc".
                    "A people that elect corrupt politicians, imposters, thieves and traitors are not victims, but accomplices," George Orwell

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                      A book has been written about the prime minister's time in office, apparently it's going to be out by Christmas, but I don't know is that the release date or the title?
                      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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