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Please put more jokes here

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    wife: "this is really your idea of an anniversary present?"
    me: [on the other walkie talkie] "you didn't say over, over"
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

    Comment


      My obese parrot died today...
      It is however, a huge weight off my shoulders!
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

      Comment


        A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting “The end of the world is nigh!!”
        I think it was Farmer Geddon.
        “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

        Comment


          Me: Dad, why is my sister called Paris?
          Dad: Because she was conceived in Paris.
          Me: Ahh ok, thanks dad.
          Dad: You're welcome, Backseat!
          “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

          Comment


            I once lost my luggage when I flew to Helsinki, it just vanished into Finnair.
            “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

            Comment


              I thought it was acceptable to mop up gravy with a piece of bread, but apparently it has to be "your plate" & you have to "have clothes on".
              “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

              Comment


                My wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning.
                I really love permanent markers.
                “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                Comment


                  GRADUALLY cure your claustrophobia by adding a new coat of plaster to your living room every week.
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                  Comment


                    It was the inventor of the dishwasher's funeral today. His coffin was lowered down only to be taken out by his wife and put back in properly.
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      PRETEND you’re an on call 24 hr IT technician by simply buying your parents a bloody laptop.
                      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                      Comment

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