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Please put more jokes here

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    What did the Cannibal do after he ate his girlfriend?
    He Dumped her!
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      We now live in an age where it's more important to delete history, than it is to make it.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        All men marry nymphomaniacs.

        Then after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I went into sports direct on Tuesday and asks for some condoms and KY jelly.

          "We are a sports shop." said the assistant.

          On Wednesday I asked for a dual action 12 inch black dildo, on Thursday, some anal beads and a gimp mask, on Friday some love eggs and a whip. Always with the same reply.

          Saturday as I walked in the assistant took me to one side and said "mate you keep coming in and it's getting embarrassing you know we are a sports shop, what the **** do you really want?"

          I summoned up all my courage took a deep breath and said "can I have a Liverpool home shirt please."
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            When you think about it life is all about perspective.

            I mean the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              for the Bremainers

              I'm emotionally constipated.

              I haven't given a tulip in days.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                BrilloPad was telling me that in the last week he has started writing poetry.

                After 6 days he's only got the R and Y left to do.
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                Comment


                  I saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman the other day.
                  He was wearing a cat flap.
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                  Comment


                    Dog 1: Help me with this crossword clue. Outer covering of a tree. 4 letters.
                    Dog 2: woof?
                    Dog 1: You're not even trying!
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

                      He said "thank you"

                      I said "don't mention it"
                      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                      Comment

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