What did the Cannibal do after he ate his girlfriend?
He Dumped her!
He Dumped her!
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We now live in an age where it's more important to delete history, than it is to make it.Comment
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All men marry nymphomaniacs.
Then after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.Comment
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I went into sports direct on Tuesday and asks for some condoms and KY jelly.
"We are a sports shop." said the assistant.
On Wednesday I asked for a dual action 12 inch black dildo, on Thursday, some anal beads and a gimp mask, on Friday some love eggs and a whip. Always with the same reply.
Saturday as I walked in the assistant took me to one side and said "mate you keep coming in and it's getting embarrassing you know we are a sports shop, what the **** do you really want?"
I summoned up all my courage took a deep breath and said "can I have a Liverpool home shirt please."Comment
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When you think about it life is all about perspective.
I mean the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.Comment
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for the Bremainers
I'm emotionally constipated.
I haven't given a tulip in days.Comment
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BrilloPad was telling me that in the last week he has started writing poetry.
After 6 days he's only got the R and Y left to do.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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I saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman the other day.
He was wearing a cat flap.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
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Dog 1: Help me with this crossword clue. Outer covering of a tree. 4 letters.
Dog 2: woof?
Dog 1: You're not even trying!“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
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I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
He said "thank you"
I said "don't mention it"…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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