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Please put more jokes here

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    Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car.
    They get pulled over.
    Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"
    "No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
    The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35."
    Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

    The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk.
    He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

    "We do now" shouts Schrodinger.

    The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists. He didn't want to face the charges.
    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

    Comment


      What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig ?

      The letter F ?
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        My local barber was arrested yesterday for selling drugs.

        I was shocked, I've been a loyal customer to him for 9 years and I had no idea he was a barber.
        When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

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          Just seen MF dancing to Maroon 5......moobs like Jabba
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            I think Christmas must be near,

            The binman said good morning to me.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Mrs V wasn't impressed

              Losing your wife is hard.

              Trust me, I've been trying for years.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                bit of sexism

                Women should be like golf caddies.Either holding your balls or getting the tee ready.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  I bought my wife a new fridge for her birthday. It may not sound like much but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                  Comment


                    for Brillo

                    It was an emotional wedding.

                    Even the Cake was in Tiers.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I told my wife I wanted to try anal sex....

                      she told me she's been having sex with an asshole for years...
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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