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Please put more jokes here

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    nerds again

    I got some funny looks in Asda today when I was walking around in my underpants doing my shopping.

    I usually shop in the comfort of my own home but the bloody computer crashed.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      I'm horrified to read that doctors are now advising not to drink alcohol two days running. So today I shall be walking instead
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        for the scaly one

        my wife said she would like to go back to the 1930's to see what it would be like ' so i took her to wales for the day .
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I've just been taken to Court and fined £1,000 for not having a TV licence.

          The Judge did not think 'Not wishing to fund paedophilia at the BBC' is a valid enough excuse for not having one it would seem.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            A nun walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on the immaculate conception, please?"

            "Yes," replied the librarian, "over in the theology section. Having a little refresher are we, sister?"


            "No," she replied. "I'm pregnant and I just want to make sure I get my story right."
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              If you're going to diagnose yourself with OCD, how many times do you have to do that to be sure?
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I've learnt a very valuable lesson today, as a parent.

                Pretending that you don't know your kids in public, is much easier than trying to discipline them.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  When asked what it was like getting over a Viagra addiction my buddy said,"Well my first few days were the hardest."
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    I was going to write a joke about sex after marriage...

                    But you won't get it.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      39.2

                      I was reading about this woman in Torquay. She lived for a whole week in a flat with her dead husband.

                      She realized he was dead just after she said, " ... and that was my day. How was your day?"
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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