• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    "Hello Nikko, this is Cheryl Cole would you be interested in tattooing my arse?"

    "Ok," replies Nikko, "but I didn't think you and Ashley were still together"
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      What happened before the Big Bang? God knows.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first,
        "What's your name and address?"
        "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address."
        The cop turns to the second drunk, and asks the same question.
        "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          My dad kicked me out of the house when I told him that I'm gay.

          Now I'm a homelessexual.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            I went swimming last night.

            People must have all been thin when they invented the phrase 'Skinny Dipping.'

            All I could see was the 'Fat Flop.'
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              The barman said "I've got more new sheep jokes than I can cope with."

              I replied "Herd them."
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                for MF

                I'm at the beach skimming pebbles.
                This exercise lark is a piece of cake.
                I've lost 12 stones in 15 minutes.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  A Yorkie bar isn't for girls.

                  But it is chocolate, so it's best not to stand between them.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    Statistically, 46% of men are 'too lazy to put the toilet seat back down'. Or, interpreted a different way, 54% of us are smart enough to realize that she will never find out if it doesn't go up in the first place
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      For old hack

                      I stayed up late to listen to my uncle make love to his wife.....

                      It turned out to be a real aunty climax!
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X