Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Miley Cyrus recently attempted to boost her pop career by writhing and gyrating half-naked on stage.

Madonna did the same thing back in 1990.

It just goes to show; great minds think alike.

And so do blonde talentless ones.

[vetran]

Always works for me

Next time you are on a date, tell her you suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder.......Even though every other girl you have been with has told you that you have a huge cock, you still believe it to be average sized.....

God bless the natural curiosity of women!.

[vetran]

One for the ladies!

I was in a competition last night to see who could please their woman the most during sex.

I came last and won.

[vetran]

for the parents of teens

How many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to take two hundred pictures and put them on Facebook.

[vetran]

I'm uneducated and unemployed, but I like to think of myself as a student at the University of Life.

Just like real students, I get up at 3pm and have a few spliffs while watching the telly.

[vetran]

I forget my wedding anniversary every year.

It means my wife won't talk to me for a few days.

[vetran]

This £20 note has beer written all over it.

Just in case I get drunk and forget what it's for.

[vetran]

As my doctor was about to perform a prostate exam I asked if he could use two fingers.

"Why two fingers?" he asked.

I said, "I want a second opinion"

[vetran]

Bradley Manning's desire to be treated as a woman has confused things.

Did he leak information in the national interest? Or was it that she couldn't keep her big fat mouth shut?

[vetran]

i got caught masturbating on an airplane

i got done for "hijacking"