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Please put more jokes here

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    I moved in next to NLYUK:

    My neighbour loves getting paid for giving blow-jobs.

    She's a sucker for money.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      Today I think I will look out for celebrities.

      Camera: check

      Autograph book: check

      Court timetable: check
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        My wife has OCD.

        She's mentally arranged.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          My doctor has just diagnosed me with Quadrophenia.

          It's schizophrenia with cool surround sound.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            One for AtW

            I was cuddling my girlfriend last night when she farted.

            Well, I say farted, I think the valve's leaking.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Maddie McCann walks into a bar.

              The landlord says, "****, I've left the cellar door unlocked".
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                My Scouse friend showed me 10 identical ties he'd bought.

                "I'm going to give my Dad one every year for Father's Day", he said.

                "But they're all the same", I laughed.

                "I know", he replied, "But my Dad will be different."
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  What's enjoyable, keeps you fit and gives you rosy cheeks?

                  Botty sex with Cheryl Cole.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    Stephen Hawking isn't as clever as everyone thinks.

                    I saw him being interviewed on TV the other day, and he was was clearly reading off an Autocue.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I'm finding it really hard to sell insurance for Muslim women.
                      I think they're all fully covered.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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