Please put more jokes here

[TheFaQQer]

7. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Socrates

No source has ever been found for that "quote", apart from the internet

[LondonManc]

No source has ever been found for that "quote", apart from the internet

"87% of internet quotes are made up"
Abraham Lincoln

[WTFH]

I came into some money recently.


The bank won't accept it because all the notes are stuck together.

[WTFH]

Do you know what really gets my goat?




Kidnapping.

[WTFH]

I got two books on eBay recently, thought they were going to be racy numbers - How to Hug and Sex to Sin.


Turns out they were odd volumes from an encyclopaedia.

[flamel]

More marriage

Why is marriage like a hurricane?
It's warm and wet with a lot of blowing when it starts and in the end it takes your house.

[original PM]

Why is marriage like a hurricane?
It's warm and wet with a lot of blowing when it starts and in the end it takes your house.

fook me the 80's called and want's it's joke back!

[LondonManc]

A bloke drove past me in a tractor shouting "it's the end of the world, we're all going to die!"

I think it was Farmer Geddon.

[b0redom]

...and in the same vein.....

As the Moon passed in front of the Sun, the pigs went wild. Could this be the end of the world? It was certainly a pork eclipse.

[LondonManc]

Did you hear about the transvestite that moved up north? He got a Wigan address.