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Please put more jokes here

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    I had a car crash last night. As I woke up the doctors tried to tell me I was a Swedish guy and that I had lost my memory.

    But I wasnt having it, I told them I wasn't Bjorn yesterday.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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      I've just bought a few copies of Prince Harry's new book.

      Just in case we go back into lockdown and the bastards start buying up all the toilet roll again
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        So, I understand that you have an issue with your genitals?? asked my doctor.

        Yes, I replied, My left one is bigger than my right one.?

        ?That?s perfectly normal,? he laughed, ?This is common in most men!?

        ?That?s a relief,? I said, ?And there was me thinking that nobody else had two cocks.?
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          Milf egghead Carol Vorderman loves maths so much that she & her quintet of male lovers always share oral sex daily at quarter to four.

          Why?

          Because 69 x 5 = 345
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            I've just bumped into a mate who I hav'nt seen for a while, he says he's gonna divorce the wife because she has'nt spoken to him for 3 months, I told him not to be so hasty and think things thru - women like that are hard to find !
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              ...and then he kicked my sandcastle over at the beach and said "That's because you'll never have one!"

              --Prince Harry.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I'm not saying I've had a hard day, but I feel as knackered as Carol Vorderman's bedsprings..
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  What's the difference between Prince Harry and Scotland? Prince Harry was given permission to leave the UK...
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    We buy any Car are total rubbish. I took Jimmy and Alan to my local branch but they wouldn't buy them.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      There is a lot of controversy about sex education in schools at the moment but I can remember how bad our sex ed was.

                      I remember the teacher coming in one day and told us that we were going to learn how to use a condom.

                      A banana was then brought out as the the teacher said he couldn't get a hard-on on an empty stomach.
                      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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