• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    The Verve are playing a gig at our dilapidated village hall.


    It will have to be an acoustic set though, because the plugs don't work.
    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

    Comment


      I've had a brilliant idea, where illegal immigrants have to hunt down child molesters for a chance to win citizenship.

      It'll be called aliens vs predators
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        one for Warty:

        I walked in the pub with my missus and the barman said, "Punching above your weight there aren't you, pal? Where did you find her?"

        "I met her in Thailand," I replied. "We're due to get married next month."

        "You don't want to get married," he said. "That's when the blowjobs stop."

        "I don't mind that," I replied. "I hate giving them to her
        anyway."
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I feel so lucky to have my sheepdog because good ones are hard to come-bye.
          …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

          Comment


            I opened 3 birthday cards yesterday and I feel so grateful for all the money I received.


            Being a postman has such great perks.
            …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

            Comment


              It’s my wife’s birthday in a couple of weeks and she’s been leaving jewellery catalogs all over our house.



              So I've taken the hint and got her a magazine rack.
              …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

              Comment


                *Enter New Password*


                PopeyewithnoSpinach



                *Password is not strong enough*
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                Comment


                  Lots of people in my meditation class have complained about the teacher so now he has been referred to the ommmmmmmbudsman.
                  …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                  Comment


                    I've almost finished my A to Z of Lionel Richie songs, but I'm stuck on u.
                    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                    Comment


                      I don?t think the Man Utd WAGs have anything to worry about. I've not seen a bunch of men play away so badly in my lifetime.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X