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Please put more jokes here

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    I'm opening a beauty salon exclusively for Dwarves.

    Go on, treat the missus to a minicure.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      one for LM

      There's a lot of murders in my neighbourhood but the rent is cheap.

      That's why I keep murdering people in my neighbourhood.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        When Ray Davies of the Kinks was at University, he had a tendency of visiting the library and taking out books on pornography.......

        He was .....ahem....... an educated borrower of passion....
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          They claim Saudi Arabia's Neom city will be carbon neutral.
          Probably because they deduct the potential carbon footprint of the workers who die during the construction.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            I was attacked by a Mime Artist yesterday, the bastard did things to me that were unspeakable.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I like my women the way I like my North Sea oil reserves.
              Light sweet and crude
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                The "CAP" in "Energy Price Cap" is about as much use as the "CONTROL" in "Take Back Control"
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                Comment


                  Look, I’m all for women’s lib and all that political correctness crap, but when is MEN’s football coming home?
                  …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                  Comment


                    '...Do dentists call their x-rays

                    Tooth pics?'
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper so tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.



                      I’m now sitting in A&E waiting to see a cardyologist.
                      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                      Comment

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