Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and …..... cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Why did the chicken go to the séance?
To get to the other side.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
It’s two gross.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Pick a band whose drummer is still alive.'
'Yes?'
'No.'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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