• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Tampax have announced that they will be replacing their traditional tampon string with tinsel.

    This will be for the Christmas Period only.

    Comment


      he following conversation took place after a lesbian woman attempted to kiss a straight woman.

      Straight woman: Stop trying to kiss me, I’ve told you I’m straight!!”
      Lesbian: So is spaghetti until it gets wet!!

      Comment


        Took my mother-in-law out last night. Loving my new sniper rifle.

        Comment


          Q. What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?

          A. Your spine.

          Comment


            My new business on Ebay is a great success. Just sold my homing pigeons for the 17th time in a row!

            Comment


              --He's making a database
              --He's sorting it twice
              Select * from Contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice'
              --SQL Clause is coming to town!

              Comment


                Wealthy Arab sheikh goes up to his son and asks "I know you have almost everything but what would you really like for Christmas?", and the son replies "I'd really love a cowboy outfit", so his dad bought him HMRC!!

                Comment


                  I got a Jehova (or Je Ho Ho Ho va) Witness themed Advent calendar.

                  Every time you open one of the little doors, and voice shouts “F*CK OFF!”

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
                    --He's making a database
                    --He's sorting it twice
                    Select * from Contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice'
                    --SQL Clause is coming to town!
                    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                    He's making a database,
                    He's checking it twice
                    SELECT * FROM Contacts WHERE behaviour = 'Nice'

                    ...

                    SQL Clause is coming to town
                    Who's going to get that one in next year?
                    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                    Comment


                      What's got 15 windows that won't open?

                      Max Clifford's advent calendar.
                      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X