• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I read in the local news today that a dwarf was pickpocketed.
    How could anyone stoop so low?
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      Got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.
      The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.
      Join Big Group - don't let them get away with it
      http://www.wttbiggroup.co.uk/

      Comment


        I went on a blind date with a girl called similie.

        I don't know what I met-er-phor.

        Comment


          VIZ Top Tip...

          SELF EMPLOYED. Save time and avoid paying any future tax, by simply writing "It's a private matter" on your tax return form
          …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

          Comment


            Losing your wife can be hard.
            But if you really try, you might manage it one day.
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

            Comment


              After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.
              Strangely enough, however, once she had done it I started to feel a lot better.
              So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.
              Join Big Group - don't let them get away with it
              http://www.wttbiggroup.co.uk/

              Comment


                So the postman just delivered a letter from HMRC. It simply said "Lube Up".

                Is that one of those Advanced Pain Notification everyone's been talking about?
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                Comment


                  I went to a charity pantomime in aid of paranoid homosexuals last night. It was going really well until someone shouted "he's behind you!"
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                  Comment


                    Words can't describe how beautiful you are...

                    But numbers can.




                    2/10.
                    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                    Comment


                      I went out for a romantic meal with the wife the other night and we played footsie under the table. I had steak and she got toed in the hole.
                      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X