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Please put more jokes here

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    For MS

    As my husband opened his anniversary present, he just stared at me and said:

    "A pen? A pen? It's like you don't know me at all."

    "Alright, Steve," I said. "Calm down."

    he said, "My name's Martin!"
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      I can't help but think that Will and Kate have missed a trick with this name thing. 'Elizabeth Paris Mercedes' would have been a nice blend of modern and historical while also being the Cluedo answer for "what happened to Granny"?
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        for the Faqqer

        English is weird.

        It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          For MF

          Russell Brand tells us not to vote...

          Yeah, right - as if I'm going to take advice off someone who divorced Katy Perry.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            So since the election Ed Milliband, Nigel Farage and Nick Clegg have all resigned. The leaders are quitting left right and centre
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Phil on form

              When David Cameron turned up at Buckingham Palace yesterday the Duke of Edinburgh answered the door and said..

              "Damn it's you, I was hoping for the Farage fellow"
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                There are more pandas in Scotland than Labour MPs.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  So. Ed Miliband is now unemployed

                  A bit like most of his voters
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    "That lying asinine politician is prime minister" said my wife as I walked in the door from work.

                    Leaving me still absolutely none the wiser.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

                      We don't know. Rather than change it they'd prefer to talk about how badly it was originally fitted.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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