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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    '....DEEP THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

    When you clean out a vacuum cleaner...

    YOU become a vacuum cleaner.'
    This joke just sucks....
    And the lord said unto John; "come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

    Comment


      BMW drivers are taking pride month a bit seriously.

      This one's been up my arse for 5 miles!
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        "In terms of suppositories, is this one in your top five? Maybe even top 3?"

        "I'm not sure if it's the best, but it's certainly up there"
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

        Comment


          Last night the government proved that the asylum seekers who were being deported were actually very British indeed...

          Their flight was cancelled at the last minute.
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

          Comment


            "I've taught my pet owl to tell really bad jokes."

            "Can he tell one now?"

            "No, he's knock-knockturnal."
            {emotionless greeting}

            Three Word Slogan

            Comment


              Just been sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about aeroplanes.
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

              Comment


                People said I’d never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.



                But take a look at me now.
                {emotionless greeting}

                Three Word Slogan

                Comment


                  "Starmer brands Johnson as Jabba the Hutt...Hutt was a large slug-like alien...He was an obese and corrupt crime boss."

                  For all his faults, this comparison is more than a touch harsh on Mr Hutt.
                  Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                  Comment


                    The 2022 panto auditions are over, and 4 kids have been rejected. To soften the blow we're telling them that they're on a shortlist.

                    It's a very short list. Of people rejected.
                    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                    Comment


                      I got a phone call from Richard Dawkins at 3am this morning

                      "What are you doing ringing me at this ungodly hour?!" I asked

                      "Every hour is ungodly" he said
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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