• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • FREE webinar: What does a post IR35 reform CV look like? : Wed, Jul 28, 2021 7:15 PM - 8:15 PM BST More details here.

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I think I just had one of those scam emails. It read:


    "Have you had to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more? If so, you could be entitled to compensation. Call The Pro Claimers now.
    I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
    Hands... out infractions
    Face... the music
    Space... between the ears

    Comment


      The Wife (tm) asked me for something silky for her birthday.


      No doubt this tin of emulsion will be the wrong colour.
      I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
      Hands... out infractions
      Face... the music
      Space... between the ears

      Comment


        Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

        Comment


          Dry erase boards are remarkable.

          Comment


            Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.

            Comment


              A Frenchman, an Irishman and a Jew walked into a bar. What a lovely example of our multicultural society.
              The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

              Comment


                What do you call it when a cat requests food when the bowl is 50% full?

                Fake mews.

                Comment


                  MURDERERS. Disguise your crime as suicide by simply placing a Leonard Cohen CD next to your victim’s body.
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                  Comment


                    Been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately.
                    Most common one seems to be
                    "You said you'd be home from the pub 3 hours ago!"
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      A man was killed today after jumping on his nemesis from the top of a tower block. He was pronounced dead on a rival.
                      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X