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Please put more jokes here

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    "I like my women like my red wine."
    "What, a full-bodied cheeky number?"
    "No, 18 years old and kept in the cellar"
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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      Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
      "I like my women like my red wine."
      "What, a full-bodied cheeky number?"
      "No, 18 years old and kept in the cellar"
      I'm going to hell for laughing at this aren't I? . This could be why I failed Women's Studies. I was highly surprised when I did cause bitches love me.
      'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

      Comment


        Originally posted by vetran View Post
        “Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.”
        (Linus Torvalds)

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          Pancake day is for tossers
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?


            Donald Trump doesn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I have a Pancake Day joke, but it's crepe.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Who's the sexiest person at the abbattoir?

                The Stunner
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I went up to a fat bird in the pub last night
                  I said " Wow, you're a big lass aren't you"?
                  She said "Tell me me something I don't know"
                  "Ok" I said "Salad is good for you"
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    one for AssGuru

                    My penis is only 3 inches long, but it smells like a foot.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The car was nowhere in the parking lot. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: "I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."

                      There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice."Are you kidding me?" he barked, "I dropped YOU off!"

                      Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

                      He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your bloody car!"
                      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                      Comment

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