• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • FREE workshop: Preparing contractors for Autumn : Weds 29th Sep at 7.15pm. More details here.

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    ME : I have an eye irritation, what do you recommend. ?
    CHEMIST : Saline solution.
    ME : "line solution", nope still sore.
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

    Comment


      I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

      Comment


        Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
        They've opened a new nightclub in town called G-Spot. Problem is none of the young lads can find it.
        And all the old men know but don't care!

        Comment


          My friend's name is Fin. It's really funny watching him send emails without looking like a pretentious winker.
          The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

          Comment


            I used to live next to a farm and every time I passed the cows in the field I used to inexplicably shout abuse at them. I thought I was developing Tourette's but it turned out that I’m dairy intolerant.
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

            Comment


              My wife told me that sex is better on holiday. That's got to be the worst postcard I've ever received.
              The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

              Comment


                If I'm ever feeling down I just type: "Yo are the best" into Google. Then it responds: "I think you mean: 'You are the best'" and I feel much better.
                The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                Comment


                  A bloke came up to me in the pub and growled "I'm going to attack you with the neck of a guitar." I said, "Is that a fret?"
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                  Comment


                    I had a neck brace fitted a couple of years ago and since then I've never looked back.
                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                    Comment


                      Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese? The hallouminati.
                      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X